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Showing posts with label Introvert. Show all posts

Exposé: Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted


1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social.

2. At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it.



4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be doing.

7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, because like, you just want to be left alone…

8. You’re accused of being flirty with everybody, which is hilarious, because in reality, you can only tolerate like four people.

9. You retain an air of mysteriousness about you, completely unintentionally. (There’s no mystery. You just feel no need to update the social sphere on what’s going on in your life every two hours.)


10. Not to mention the fact that you either have days in which you’re tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or you delete your accounts for a month.

11. You become unintentionally awkward because you at once feel the need to be a social life jacket for other people, though you’re just as uncomfortable yourself.

12. You’ve never really understood the whole “introvert vs. extrovert” dichotomy (can we call it that?) Because you’re… both…


13. You’re always thrown into the wringer because people think you’re best suited to be the one who gives the presentation, confronts the boss, gives the speech, etc. Meanwhile, you’re practically throwing up over the thought of it.

14. You ebb and flow between wanting to be noticed for your hard work, reveling in the attention and achievement you receive, to sinking and panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to you.

15. The entirety of your being is a conundrum, so needless to say, indecisiveness is your Achilles’ Heel.

16. You’re at your happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.

17. You prefer to travel alone, but meet up with people once you’re there.

18. It’s taken you years to figure out that you’re shy. Literal years. And when you tell people, even your closest family members, that you’re “actually just shy” they pause, and then their eyes go big, and they go: “Oh my god you so are.”

Credit: The Thought Catalog
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Science Says People Who ENJOY Being Alone Are More Likely To Be Successful


Although success is something we all hope to achieve, it can be a real struggle. You might think the extroverts of the world have the best shot at achieving their life goals, but science disagrees. A tendency to enjoy your alone time over socializing can actually help you achieve ultimate success. Here’s why.

1. No Approval Needed
When you enjoy your alone time, you tend to be your own best friend. This tendency can serve you well for a variety of reasons. One of the keys to success is making choices you can be confident in. When you are not focused on remaining a member of a group, you can focus in on whatever options you think are in your best interest. Another way this can help is by simply reducing the amount of stress surrounding your work. No longer do you need to dedicate brain power to worrying about what others think. Instead, you get to focus on perfecting your work by your own standards.

One of the reasons introverts don’t seek the approval of others is explained by Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at Wellesley College: “Some people simply have a low need for affiliation.” Cheek suggests that this may be connected to genetics, stating that “those who choose the living room over the ballroom may have inherited their temperament.”

2. Less Impulsive Choices
Those who love to spend time alone tend to think more carefully about their choices. When it comes to making big decisions, this can significantly increase the likelihood of selecting the best possible option. Dr. Maryam Jahdi, a physician at Ohio State University, explains that for those who prefer time alone, “behavior is guided more by consequences and less by rewards.”

This tendency to favor consequences over rewards has been linked to brain chemistry. In 2013, a study conducted by Cornell University’s Richard Depue showed a difference in the release of dopamine levels. For extroverts, dopamine was released at a greater rate upon receiving a reward. Introverts who prefer to spend some time alone experience less dopamine releases, thus they do not seek rewards in the same way as extroverts.

Being less impulsive can help with all sorts of challenges — everything from wasting money on those last-minute treats at the grocery store to holding out for that bigger, but more elusive, trade bargains. Holding back, thinking it through, and contemplating precisely what move is the best option will help you get ahead.

3. Money Wise
For those who know consequences matter more than rewards, it can be much easier to spend money wisely. Those who love to spend time alone know how to think through decisions. This is perfect for making financial decisions which require, “avoiding bad decisions, negative consequences and missed opportunities,” according to Dr. Jahdi.

You need look no further than Warren Buffet to see this is a key to success. In a US News interview, Buffet is described as “a classic example of an introvert taking careful, well-calibrated risks.” If there is one thing that can help someone achieve success, it’s being smart with money.

So, embrace your alone time and use it wisely — it may be your key to a successful life.

*Written by:
Louise Williams
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