Can one retroactively withdrew sexual consent after sex?: Scantygela

When People shout and go all hagahaga about Nigerian Facebook feminists, I simply smile because Unah never see something. Feminists dey and FeMINIst(Extremists) dey.

So I was invited as a guest speaker at a women’s program, hosted by the school. After the program, this particular group of ladies reached out to me and applauded how unbiased and bold I was with my points and views, irrespective of how Men objected and frowned at them. They invited me to their weekly hangout, I promised them that I’ll be there.

Fast forward to when I arrived at the hangout venue, they were already settled, orders and shit in place. I made myself at home. It was easy, since for some weird reasons, they were all seeing me as some kind of celeb. I gingerly accepted my celebrity status and went with the flow 

Now, the important part of this write up, a very interesting topic was raised and it goes. 

Two months ago, Crystal, a prominent member of the group and her friend, Frank, had a 100% consensual sex. Not once, not twice but Eight good times (can’t believe she was counting though). Later on, Crystal felt it started being embarassing to have had sex with Frank, as she then found out that he’s homophobic and doesn’t believe in equality of sexes( He’s the ultimate traditionalist and not violent at all ). Crystal retroactively withdrew her sexual consent, so that all the previous sex they had, now becomes rape.

Menh,  I was really confused, like wtf just happened. The most annoying part is that the so called members were all for “A girl must have the right to change her mind after the whole thing is over”

“Yes, it was absolutely consensual all the way through the act 
Yes, both were happy when they left the room. 
Yes, she should have the right to change her mind and retract her consent after the event. Hours, days, weeks, months and even years later. 
Yes, that makes the event rape.”

Someone please wake me up, like for realz I’m traumatized. They both left the room happy, for crying out loud, that’s spirit crushing. I can’t begin to imagine what I just stumbled upon. where do one begin to address such fucked up mentality. 
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Angela Chioma Ozue, Opinion: Moral Absolutism

I have been wanting to write on MORAL ABSOLUTISM OR ABSOLUTIST MENTALITY and this particular incident presented me with the perfect opportunity to do so.

Moral absolutism: Actions are inherently moral(right) or immoral(Wrong) regardless of the beliefs and goals of the individual or groups that engages in the actions. IT’S EITHER BLACK OR WHITE. THERE’RE NO IN-BETWEENS OR SECOND GUESSING IT. 

I sat opposite this really cute guy in the cosy lounge of Palm beach hotel. Sweet instrumental music played in the background. I looked at his face. A shade of sorrow beamed on his pretty face.
“What’s wrong? There’s something bothering you…”, I asked. I know I might be disturbing but there’s this look on his face that tore at my heart. He just smile but ignored the question.
I wanted to leave that place and space but my legs couldn’t seems to move. I shaa forced myself to stand, before I could leave, he round the table kissed me on both chick and hugged me a little longer than usual and said:
“I really don’t know you but thank you and please don’t leave because of me”. Ok now I’m really confused, he seems not to appreciate my concerns initially, now he’s being all touchy and asking me to stay. Like who the hell are you. “Oga  I was just concerned that’s all” as I turned to leave.

“I know, I know. Please wait, this might probably be last time we see each other, I just need to talk. Just talk”.  Now, that really got me, I was a little too brash. I mean I knew immediately I saw the face that something was seriously not right with him. 

“I did something really bad, not illegal I must add but morally it’s bad anyways. So much double standard, I criticized something now and two minutes later I’m doing the same thing. I seriously hurt a loved one and my anger is that I didn’t think twice before doing it and I’m still not feeling bad about it and I might do it again if opportunity presented itself. I’m more concerned about being judged than anything else. What typa man, am I?. He said.

“I really don’t know what you did but I don’t think it’s always that black and white. No human like being judged, so I can understand where you’re coming. Sometimes we make some difficult decisions or not so difficult decision. But in my book, there’s always an in-between, nothing is absolutely wrong or right. I mean who gets to choose what’s really the wrong right ?. You should live happily and move on with your life because from the look on face it wasn’t an easy decision no matter how you try deny that”

I suddenly realized that he was crying on seeing his shirt wet with his tears. I handed him a tissue paper and walked away without saying another word.

When I got home, I was a little bit disturbed. I’m not really sure what I said to this man was really the right thing to say to him. I should have persuaded him to download the full gist before telling him that nothing is totally wrong or right. That thing are not always that black and white. What if he slept with her brother’s or bestie’s wife/gf , sure that’s not illegal but morally wrong to some or all. What if he eloped with a friend’s money, ok that’s illegal. 

So many “What ifs” but the funny thing is that I always find an in-between in them. Maybe he fell in love with the dude’s wife and acted on the spur of emotions. He might even go as far as marrying the girl if situations presented itself. That’s mean but love happens.

The challenge with moral absolutism, however, is that there will always be strong disagreements about which moral principles are correct and which are incorrect.

I still amazed at how far I’ve come. I was this morally rigid person and a judgmental one at that.  Being able to unlearn some certain things for me was my ultimate win.

Back to the ish at hand. Is morality really absolute?
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CONCEALED! The Movie Thriller!

The Movie CONCEALED was written, directed and Produced by Sauka Mantun (Mega-Legzy), shot within Jos Metropolis

Christianity has suffered some major setbacks in recent times due to the way of life most Christians choose. Hypocrisy has eaten deep into our flesh, it has become the order of the day. To certain people,  a Christian is divine but to others a beast. 

Mega-Legzy Production brings to you a True life story about a Pastor who fell into such life with his wife. Who will save them and who will save the Church.

Starring: Emmanuel Edeseri, Rose Chigozie, Manji Luka, Sauka Mantun, Joshua Biwarang, Amuna Choms, Wale Elesho, Jacob Salisu, Adams Akaso, Sam Patrick and many more

Mega-Legzy Production was formed in the year 2017 with the sole aim of reaching to people and also bringing out potentials from aspiring stars, The CEO/Chairman of Mega-Legzy Production Sauka Mantun is a force to be reckoned with. He hails from Plateau State Nigeria, Gusu by tribe, a graduate of Management Information System from Eastern Mediterranean University, Mersin 10 Turkey.

Watch and enjoy! Link below.

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My 10 most controversial or unpopular opinions!!!

1) Any relationship, sexual or otherwise, between two consenting adults is not ‘wrong’. If a person finds happiness with their own gender, opposite gender, hermaphrodite, bobrisky etc who are we to dictate otherwise (with the exception of incest though)

2) We're all not beautiful. Being attractive, I understand but beauty is NOT evenly distributed.
Am I the only one that thinks Lupita Nyong’o's beauty is over-hyped ?🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

3) I don't believe that success is just hard work or that if you aren't successful, then it’s your own fault. So other factors come in play, your hard-work is just 5% of the whole story-line.

4) Super religious people can't hold an intelligent conversation!!! They all clouded mentally.

5) Social media is not ruining our lives!

6) Men are oppressed as much or more than women are.

7) We are all not Equal! (Equality is actually bad). Equity should be implied instead (That everyone gets exactly what they need to succeed not exactly what the person on the opposite end gets)

8)You're only Valuable until you're not!!!

9) Everyone is self-serving. There's no in-between

10) Anambra babes are the best!!! 😊😊😊

Let's hear yours???
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Ms Chioma: Lean Manufacturing!

Better believe it or not, I'm that Igbo girl that was brought up in the busiest, noisiest, and most crowded zone of the eastern part of the country. Onitsha brought up (Nwa Otu). What's more, when I said, my eyes have seen things, kindly don't contend with me Biko. 

My folks are into foam line (mattresses, foam carpet etc) and I was generally with them at whatever point they visited these foam manufacturing plants back then for restock. Amid one of our various visits to some of these locales, I remembered how chunks of foams were littered around the road and behind the passageway of factories we were visiting, on the street of one of the factories were bundles of foam REJECTS stuffed at the edge of the road, then a rearing spot for mosquitoes. Whatever happens to rework or modification of defective parts, reusing/recycling or appropriate deposition or even been sold as scrap to craftsmen which are all how lean manufacturing could be achieved . 
I Remember trying to figure out then, what the manufacturing plant's plans were, to turn the place to decline dumping site? since the vast majority of the street's residents make due of there declines(refuse) there as well. 

Truly Nigeria's industrial allocations and assignments are wack, that's the reason production sites are situated inside the residential areas in so many states. No space designation (industrial regions) for enterprises or strict directions on how to choose the location of a manufacturing plant. 

One will simply get up one morning and reason, " since I have the capital and plot of lands in Nkpor why not utilize them to my advantage by producing something nice" . Just like that with no feasibility studies on the market or taking into consideration the health and Safety related effects on residents. 
Onitsha own tire me sef, in a narrow street like this, you will discover a chemical&foam manufacturing plant , development and construction locales, name it, with zero waste management.

One of the adverse effects of improper waste management is increased rate of Accidents; both wellbeing related and safety related mayhap. 
Take for instance the soda  defective containers that crushed a pregnant lady at Nkpor that year, killing both mother and child . Again the famous Malaria, that continues striving just in Nigeria. 

On a more general note, what's the country's life expectancy for both male and female? ; 53 and 55 years respectively. The million dollar question is, Why so low? .  
Most accidents in Naija today are super avoidable events, on the off chance that we put our selfish advantages aside and work as rational people not creatures abi Animals . 

All these manufacturing plants proprietors ought to quit being narrow minded and begin sparing souls. It cost nothing to rework defective items, in truth you deliver more, fulfill more clients, create a happier environment and finally gladden you bank account. Also reduced cost of materials and everyone is happy. Bikonu stop answering owners n'onu ( for mouth);
* Waste can be reused/ recycled it's not advanced science 
* Waste can be sold as scrap, that too is not rocket science.
* Waste can arranged legitimately..  Not hard fam.

Every young aspiring CEO, CEOs and workers out there wanting to fire up their own particular manufacturing firm, ought to please enlist the help of a specialist in doing proper feasibility studies on the market and site's locations and also arrange proper safety measures and waste management.
             "Think right and grow rich". 
Lean manufacturing is extremely important (less of everything) . 

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Gospel Singer, ‘Only 1 Harmony’ Goes Half Naked To Perform In Her Church – PHOTOS

Gospel singer's crew
Well, American Gospel singer, Only 1 Harmony wanted to entertain her church members with praise and worship songs and just decided that this outfit together with those of her back up dancers were just appropriate for a church environment. The Church is called Riverside Church in New York.

An enraged member of the church shared the photos via Facebook and had this to say:

“It Is Shameful & Very Appalling That The PASTOR Of RIVERSIDE CHURCH In NEW YORK,Allowed Singer ‘ONLY1HARMONY’,To Sing In Their Church HALF-NAKED..As A Matter Of Fact,I Don’t Call This PRAISE & WORSHIP,Rather I’ll Call It PERVERTED PRAISE & WHORE-SHIP.. They Are Just Rubbishing The CHRISTENDOM..If The SENIOR PASTOR Did Not See Anything Wrong In This,What About The ASSOCIATE PASTORS, DEACONS, DEACONESSES, MOTHERS & FATHERS Of The Church,When This SHAMELESS LADY Stepped On The Church Podium To Sing?..Do They Want To Turn The Church Into A RED-LIGHT NIGHTCLUB?..Hmm!,Its Really END-TIME,When All Kinds Of People Will Claim To Come In GOD’s Name,But In Real Sense,With Ulterior Motives..Just Too Bad,I MUST Say..SMH!..GOD Help Us All,AMEN!!! :..” 

Well, we carried out our own research and found that Ms. Onlyone Harmony was part of the Adrian Alicea fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2015 runway at Riverside Church on September 10, 2014 in New York City.”that involved a number of people, both men and women, wearing different types of revealing costumes.

more pics below: 

Only 1 Harmony Gospel Singer with crew

Gospel singer, Only 1 Harmony getting ready to render praises and worship to God in CHURCH.

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Dineo Nguwazi Lebata: Multiplicity Of Churches And Falsehood! [OPINION]

I was talking to my good friend Steph the other day. We were talking about how in our current day there seems to be so much heresy out there that it is hard to keep up with it anymore. No sooner did I get off the phone with her did I get onto Facebook and notice that some congregants of a local church had a brand new way of suckering people into their fellowship.

First off, let me say that I know that there are many reasons to leave a church. Oft time we hope that we will find the church that is tailor made for our needs and we never seem to find that church. One of the problems with that is that we go to churches looking for ways that the church can meet our needs when all along we should be going there to meet the needs of others. We often go to church to find a godly pastor. Believe it or not, there are good men out there who are as godly as one can get and the good ones acknowledge that it is God that makes them righteous. There are a few pastors who are humble and contrite.

However, on the flip-side of the coin, there are many pastors who are into their “calling” for capital gain or to see who can build the biggest church in their town. To put it frankly, many pastors are in their field to build quantity instead of seeking quality. So, there are those who have attended churches like I've mentioned above who have faltered for the reasons that I have stated above or for any other number of misguided ways. Most people who have quit going to church are what we call, “once bitten, twice shy, and they have been disappointed by what they have seen in churches and as far as they are concerned, they don’t want to see more hypocrites and fake testimonies. These people are right in assigning that label to many Christians and churches. I've been burned so many times myself that I have quit numbering the times. I’ll have friends from the past call or write and ask me if I remember a particular circumstance or transgression that a particular pastor or church have committed and I am having a hard time remembering them anymore.

I was one of those people; the ones that refused to go back to church. I’d seen it all; the lying, cheating, the theft, the adultery, the fornication and those who are outright false shepherds sent from the enemy of God out to enrich their pockets at the expense of their gullible followers. 

For a period of five years I refused to attend church because I was fifteen times bitten, sixteen times shy, so to speak. I had enough. For those of you who have been burned once or twice, you really are novices. I've been burned numerous times and I've even been kicked out of churches. Believe it or not, I was even excommunicated from the Assemblies of God, simply because I asked questions about improprieties that was obviously happening under the noses, that is everyone was pretending not to notice. So if anyone dare say that I don’t know what I am talking about I would say that I can bet the whole pot and know that you would lose all of your chips because I am some sort of king when it comes to seeing awful pastors, parishioners and being rejected and written off as dead by supposed “good meaning Christians.”
The thing is that after a while God would show me that I was being unreasonable. He showed me that I was expecting Christians to live up to pure holiness and righteousness when that was impossible. Nobody is completely holy or righteous except God. I tend to be a perfectionist that realizes that I cannot possibly be perfect, but I often tend to try anyway, realizing my limitations. I expected others to live up to the personal goals that I set up for myself and when they failed, they were to blame. But NO, I was the one to blame because I was looking up to men instead of realizing the frailty of men whereas I should have been keeping my eyes on God, the author and finisher of MY faith. I was to blame as much, and probably more than the people I was blaming for the folly that I saw in the Church.
Now here’s the deal. When you have a genuine conversion in God through faith in God, you develop the ability to hear from God. If you are truly His, and He wants you to attend a Church then he will work on you while you are not attending. I had to go through a period of sliding back in order for Him to reveal to me that I needed to fellowship with His believers, no matter what they were like. My period of time away from fellowship wasn't great. Looking in retrospect, I was not a good person; I was miserable. I became self-righteous and thought that I was too good for most churches and my big mistake was that I thought I could survive alone. But, as I mentioned above; God finally broke through the varnish that I had painted on myself and he led me back to fellowship with Him and with other believers.
So, why did I say all of that. Okay, here it goes. Well, first let me say that I’ll sure be glad when God comes back and bring a right mind to His Church. I am getting soooo (misspelled intentionally) tired of seeing the perversions of His Word; the contortions of Scripture and the blatant lying that goes on between believers. I’m tired of seeing the false shepherds and the false prophets. I know that these people are a sign of the times and such. I think that bothers me the most and really wearies me is when people like me, who try to help people back to the straight path; when we are maligned, called liars, judgmental, lacking love and other number of titles that are bestowed on the watchmen of the current age. My flesh would just love to respond to these people that I just didn't care anymore; that if they want to disobey God and suffer the consequences I just release them to that fate.

However, when you love people, you just can’t do that and when you have a commission as a watchman you have to warn people, even right up to the time when the enemy thrusts the sword. To hear the words, “you’re being judgmental, leave me alone,” really rends the heart. To watch loved ones fall by the sword because they would not allow you to throw them a shield is truly heartbreaking.

Hopefully we all meet at the HEAVENLY ALTAR. SHALOM!

 *written by Dineo Nguwazi Lebata
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Ms Doyin: This Life is a Test, It is only a Test ...NOT [OPINION]

There’s something that always ‘vexes’ me with peeps. It’s called self esteem. Are your decisions in life influenced by what other people say or do? Do you always strive to please others, so you can 'belong' instead of yourself. Self Esteem...A lot of people claim to have it but only a few actually does. See, let’s break it d own.

"This life is a test. It is only a test. If this had been a real life, you would have received further instructions on what to do and how to do it." Ever heard those words? When you first read them, it's almost a relief. "Whew! It's just a test."

But when you look deeper, you ask: "Well what, exactly, is being tested?"

Then you conclude: "Me. I am being tested." Well, what about me is being tested?

Here's where it gets interesting. Cause when you strip away the cover, it all boils down to:

Am I loveable? Am I enough? Am I worthy? Am I deserving? So if your loveability is being tested, then who is doing the judging? Who grades the test? If you're grading yourself, then there's no need for a test. Rather, it can be a self-assessment. That's called self-esteem. Self-esteem is the estimate you make of yourself. And you're already assessing yourself every minute of every day. It's the definition of self-esteem. But self-esteem is not a test.

No. If life is a test, then by definition it must be graded by another. It could be your friends, your lover, your family, your church, your job, your co-workers, your paycheck, your car, your house... any number of things or people. Bottom line: it's an Outside Authority who's grading you.

If you're holding the concept of life as a test; then you're also holding the concept of an Outside Authority. Someone other than you is making the judgment or the assessment of whether or not you pass or fail. That's called victimhood. There's an epidemic of victimhood in our world today which seems to be getting worse. And victimhood always leads to pain.

Another problem with the 'test' concept is that it robs you of your power. You must give your power away to this Outside Authority. Since an outside authority doesn't really exist, you have to keep giving more and more power to more and more people and things. "Will you take my power and use it for good?" Meaning; will you validate me? Will you conclude I’m loveable? This is impossible. If we get caught in the trap of seeking outside validation from an outside authority - it's like a downward spiral to more victimhood and less power. It makes us more and more resentful. More bitter. More blaming. More separate from ourselves and from the world around us. Which leads to more pain.

What's the solution? Realize it's not possible for anyone else to conclude whether you're enough or whether you're loveable. Or deserving. Or worthy. The question itself is a lie. It's not possible to be unlovable. It's not possible to be unworthy. No matter how much we pretend otherwise. You were created. By a Creator. You are loved. End of story. When you really, really get it - that you are loved by the One Who created you - you'll no longer wonder if you're enough. You'll no longer worry about passing a test. That's been my experience.

There's no greater feeling on this earth than to know I measure up. And that it was never a question of measuring up in the first place! I thought I had to pass some sort of unspoken test, but those thoughts were really just keeping me from feeling the love. Otherwise, it's like hiding underground and saying the sun doesn't shine for me. The sun shines for all. The sun is always shining. Everyone can bask in the sun.

Also - return to the foundation of self-esteem. Which is: I assess myself. I am the only one who determines my level of esteem. I decide. I assess. I assess my honesty. My integrity. My level of conscious responsibility. My level of trust. That's the foundation of self-esteem. The whole notion that 'life is a test' is a fraud. It's a trick designed to rob you of your power.

As you fruitlessly plead with the world: "Please, please, please, Mrs. World- give me a passing grade. My parents will kill me if I don't pass this life." You could just as easily conclude - "Life is a gift. I am already loved 100%. The fact that I’m alive proves it. Now, let me be honest enough - and responsible enough - to dismantle the lie I've bought into."

When you stand on THAT foundation, things automatically start looking up. Do I have the courage to earn my self-esteem? Or will I hide in a lie? I get to decide. That's the greatest gift of all.

 *Written by Ms DOYIN

 *to have your opinion article(s) published, simply send to scantygela@gmail.com OR SUBMIT ONLINE
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After A Year Without God, Former Pastor Ryan Bell No Longer Believes in God [INTERVIEW]

Ryan Bell — the former Seventh-day Adventist pastor who spent 2014 living as an atheist — is ready for his big reveal. He no longer believes there is God. Wait, what!? read on...

After chronicling the last 12 months on his blog Year Without God, Bell — who now works as director of community engagement at People Assisting the Homeless in Southern California — announced in an interview with NPR that he no longer believes in God.

Bell talked with Religion News Service about his decision and what it will mean to him and his loved ones. Some answers have been edited for length and clarity.

Q: This weekend you told NPR: “I don’t think that God exists.” Can you elaborate?

A: I think the best way I can explain the conclusion I’ve come to — and conclusion is too strong a word for the provisional place I now stand and work from — is that the intellectual and emotional energy it takes to figure out how God fits into everything is far greater than dealing with reality as it presents itself to us.

That probably sounds very nonrational, and I want people to know that I have read several dozen books and understand a good many of the arguments. I’d just say that the existence of God seems like an extra layer of complexity that isn’t necessary. The world makes more sense to me as it is, without postulating a divine being who is somehow in charge of things.

Q: You also said that you’re “still the same person deep down that I was before.” What was valuable about the past year? Would you do it again?

A: I would definitely do it again! And I’ll go a step further: I think others should do it, too. Anytime you can step outside your comfort zone, you will learn important things about yourself and the world. I’ve learned that atheists are not the miserable nihilists that many Christians think they are.

I’ve also had a few remarkable moments of irony. Once I was in a gathering of atheists and the speaker referred to “seeing the light” and “finding freedom at last.” It struck me then that most people really are searching for the same thing.

Q: Do you still plan to write about, speak and work in the atheist community?

A: I do, in some capacity. I don’t think I’ll be joining a crusade to destroy all religion anytime soon, though some days I’m tempted. I just know too many good people of faith to see religion as any kind of universal evil. But I do think that there is much work to be done with and among atheists.

I have a special interest in post-theists — people who are in the in-between phase that I’ve been inhabiting for the past year. There are thousands and thousands of people who are betwixt and between, and there is next to nothing for them in the world of religion. I’d like to be a part of that conversation.

Q: After a year, what do you think about the priorities and actions of the atheist movement in the U.S.?

A: On the whole, I love the no-holds-barred search for truth. I love the honesty and clarity of speech that is so often lacking in religious circles, where everything is couched in metaphor and innuendo.

On the other hand, I recoil from a one-track-minded scientism that I sometimes encounter — as though science has all the answers for every question that a person has ever asked. There is also a kind of smug condescension that is hard for me. I still have scores of Christian friends who are not dumb. Their faith is not like believing in Santa Claus. The more the atheist movement behaves like the traveling evangelists I encountered as a conservative Christian, the more I cringe — and for the same reasons.

Q: Your significant other is a Christian. How are you navigating that?

A: It’s challenging sometimes, but she is an open-minded, thoughtful person. I’d call her a Christian Humanist, or a Humanist in the way of Jesus, if that makes any sense. I still share a love for the stories of the radical Jesus preferring the poor and downtrodden, so we’re not as different as it may seem on the surface. Besides, our relationship is about more than debates about God’s existence.

Q: What would you like to say to people who question your motives or sincerity?

A: There’s not much I can say. I don’t feel like I need to defend myself. I’ve only lost money and earning potential this year, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I guess I can’t prove I’m not being dishonest any more than I can prove that God doesn’t exist. People will just have to evaluate the evidence and decide for themselves.

Q: You’ve lived as a Christian and an atheist. What’s one thing you wish more Christians knew about atheists? One thing you wish more atheists knew about Christians?

A: I wish more Christians knew that atheists are not nihilists who have no meaning to their lives or people with no moral compass. They’re not stubbornly rejecting God. All the atheists I have met have seriously hit a brick wall while trying to know God.

I wish more atheists knew that Christians care very deeply about knowledge and truth. They are not stupid. In every group there is a percentage that are ignorant — but if you take a wider view, Christian intellectuals have contributed a great deal to the body of human knowledge through history.

Credit: Huffington Post
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TheNwando: What I’ve Learnt From Being a Nigerian [OPINION]

Life is stressful most of the time, the world is flawed and people are 2 faced; to make a bad situation worse; we live in a country where nothing works right and we often struggle to balance the urge to do so much or to just give up altogether. Most of us work hard in our individual lives, at the end of a hard day; we have no fuel to drive home, we pay ridiculous taxi fares, stay in traffic for over 2 hours only to get home to a house with no electricity. We read everyday of terrorism, thieving politicians, devalued currency, cheating yoruba men(aka demons) and other life threatening things we accept as the order of the day.

Really, i believe being Nigerian prepares you for hard times and teaches you coping mechanisms for hard times and i admire the strength and zeal of all hardworking Nigerians.

Despite all the above, Nigeria is an interesting place to live in, it certainly contributes to character development. Below are a few things i have learnt from being Nigerian

To be stronger – Only the strong will survive and thrive in this economy. I’ve learnt the need to be stronger and to always be one step ahead, I’m tough because in a society that doesn’t recognize women as equals, i have to work extra hard to prove myself.

To be hopeful – We are the most hopeful citizens; we cling to the hope and belief that things must surely get better one day. This can’t possibly be our eternal reality; so we hope and hope. I’ve learnt to be extremely hopeful for the possibility of a much better day.

To persevere – We keep struggling believing that any day could be the day we get that lucky break that will elevate us and change our current circumstance. So we persevere through all trials. I’ve learnt that no does not really mean no and that there is no situation that one can not handle with the right tactics or amount so i persevere through any and every situation.

High tolerance level – There’s so much negative things that we’ve gotten used to as a way of life (poor infrastructure, corrupt leaders, cheating husbands, high unemployment rate, Boko haram, underage brides, rape culture, ebola, gender inequality) just to mention a few. I have definitely attained a high tolerant level to situations.

To be more spiritual – In Nigeria, the answer to all questions and the solution to every dilemma is God. You get used to phrases like ‘it is well’, ‘God is in control’, ‘God will do it for you’, ‘God’s time is the best’. Religion is something Nigerians NEED to cling to; the desperate hope that if they live right then a higher power will reward them. I’m a Christian and i have to say that being a Nigerian living in Nigeria has taught me to be more spiritual.

To be competitive – I grew up around a LOT of comparison, to siblings, cousins, neighbors, classmates and so on. If you’re Nigerian you have heard ‘the person that came first does she have two heads?’. Being Nigerian has taught me to be very competitive in all situations.

The list is truly endless but i have learnt so much from being Nigerian and i believe that the traits i have picked up can allow me to live and thrive anywhere in the world. Everyone knows that Nigerians are EVERYWHERE. Even in the most unlikely places like Alaska, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Cyprus, Syria, Iraq, etc.

Really, i believe being Nigerian prepares you for hard times and teaches you coping mechanisms for hard times and i admire the strength and zeal of all hardworking Nigerians.

What has being Nigerian taught you? I would love to hear it all.

Proudly Nigerian.

Love x Light

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I would become a Christian...Except for Those Hypocrites In The Church!!!

Sometimes people refuse to associate with the church because Christians may seem to be less than perfect. A frequent excuse among men for not seeking salvation through Jesus Christ is, they say, "the church is full of hypocrites." Sadly, this charge is partly true.

This is an apology, a personal confession, and a statement of fact; after all, Christians are still only people, and people often fail to be at their best. The answer is, "yes, there are hypocrites in the church." But l' don't feel it necessary to say that the church is "filled" with hypocrites. We should give Christians some benefit of the doubt and assume that, although they are human, they are earnestly trying to live in accord with their convictions. We must- recognize the vast difference between those who are trying to live as Christians but who make mistakes and those who say they are Christians but do not try to live better.

The church is not the only place where we find hypocrites, however. They exist on the golf course, the highways, and in business. They are everywhere. Although you may not attend church because of them, have you given up golf, or driving your car, or working for a living because of them? Of course not, it wouldn't be practical. We overlook the hypocrisy of our golf companion when he cheats on his score, we do not cease to drive our car because the man in the next lane speeds, and we do not refuse our paycheck even though a fellow worker steals and does not give a day's work for a day's pay.

Why, only when the church is involved, do we feel hypocrisy seriously enough to withdraw from that association? If we quit church because of a hypocritical Christian, why don't we quit work because of a hypocritical fellow worker? It would be just as logical, yet I have never heard this excuse used for quitting work, have you? It has been said (but not by the Bible) that the church is a hospital for sinners. Jesus said nearly the same thing in Matthew 9:12, "They that be need not a physician, but they that are sick".

More exactly, the church is where God places those who come to him through Christ, See Acts 2:47. However, it is clear that, of those who come, many do not remain faithful to the teachings of Christ. Jesus spoke of this situation in Matthew 13:24-30 when told the parable of the wheat the tares. Tares are a useless weed which were, in the parable, sown in a field by an enemy of the farmer. Rather than pull out the sprouting tares, thereby destroying much of the wheat, the farmer decided to let the wheat and the tares grow together and then to separate them at harvest. Jesus explained His parable in Matthew 13:37-43 saying,

He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; the field is the would; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of the world.

The Son of man shall send forth His angels, and they shall gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity: and shall cast them into a furnace of fire where there shall be wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Admittedly, there are non-Christians who are better than some who claim to be Christians. There may also be non-Christians who are morally stronger than some who are, indeed, Christians. If you are one of these and you are a very good person, does that eliminate Your need for a saviour? The apostle, Paul, said (in Romans 3:23), "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Thus, all men need the saviour

Jesus Christ, and there are none who can come to God without the saviour; Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father but by me." Thus, if even a good man is to be saved, it must be through the way of Jesus Christ. Church membership is unavoidable when one obeys the will of Christ; this obedience results in a reaction by God of adding the obedient believer to the church. It is God who places the believer in the church, the believer has no choice in this matter. For further study examine the message - "Is church membership essential to salvation?" and also the message "You can be a Christian without joining any denomination".

Salvation and eternal life are obtained only through Christ. Christians, themselves, must live in the church with hypocrites who claim to be Christians and whose lives are an embarrassment for them and for Christ. However, those who seek salvation must not let the Hypocrites deter them, for disobedience to the will of Christ will result in condemnation; the existence of hypocrites in the church will not be a valid excuse on judgement day.

Check on the video Post by LaTanya Martin.
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EVENT - CYPRUS UNPLUGGED - FALZThaBahdGuy [After Exams Party]

THIS JANUARY. All roads lead to LIONS GARDEN as FalzThaBahdGuy gears up to shut down the city of Famagusta in TRNC. The Official After Exams Party, aptly tagged "CYPRUS UNPLUGGED" will feature an array of contemporary and popular Falz tunes, including but not limited to other genre's of music from local artists and the likes.

More details below:

Date: January 22, 2016
Doors open 10pm

DJ Cosec
DJ Ather
DJ Simonsayz


1. Regular - 60TL
2. VIP - 150TL (Free Shot)
3. Table of 6 - 2KTL (1Hennessy, 1Bottle of wine, Energy Drink & Suya)
4. Table of 10 - 3KTL (1Ciroc, 2Bottles of wine, Energy Drink & Suya)

+90-5338835145 | +90-5338835331 | +905338776681

Born Folarin Falana on October 27, 1990 in Lagos State, better known by his stage name Falz The Bahd Guy is a Nigerian rapper, actor, and songwriter. He began his career while in secondary school after forming a group called "The School Boys" with his friend before his professional career as a music artiste began in 2009. 
Falz shot into limelight after his song titled "Marry Me" (featuring vocals from Poe and Yemi Alade) won him a nomination in the "Best Collaboration of The Year" category at the 2015 Nigeria Entertainment Awards. He was also nominated in the "Best Rap Act of The Year" and "Best New Act to Watch" categories at the same event. He currently owns an independent record label called Bahd Guys Records.

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Cyprus Higher Education Consultants Ltd. Presents Work and Travel USA 2017

Would you like to;

1. Spend your summer working in the United States?
2. Come get a cultural experience and improve your English?
3. Find a summer job and take care of your VISA documents to the USA?

StudyUSA partners with the Council of Educational Exchange (CIEE), the largest exchange program in the United States and an official sponsor of the U.S State Department, CIEE works only with employers who will take care of their employees!

CIEE and your employer will assist you with housing, medical insurance and offer you cultural activities. If time permits, you may also travel around the United States after your job has ended.

AND - you earn a salary!!

For more information, please visit www.studyusa.com.cy or Contact info@studyusa.com.cy or CALL 0392-271-800

*Sponsored post
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EVENT - CYPRUS UNPLUGGED - FALZThaBahdGuy [After Exams Party]

THIS JANUARY. All roads lead to LIONS GARDEN as FalzThaBahdGuy gears up to shut down the city of Famagusta in TRNC. The Official After Exams Party, aptly tagged "CYPRUS UNPLUGGED" will feature an array of contemporary and popular Falz tunes, including but not limited to other genre's of music from local artists and the likes.

More details below:

Date: January 22, 2016
Doors open 10pm

DJ Cosec
DJ Ather
DJ Simonsayz


1. Regular - 60TL
2. VIP - 150TL (Free Shot)
3. Table of 6 - 2KTL (1Hennessy, 1Bottle of wine, Energy Drink & Suya)
4. Table of 10 - 3KTL (1Ciroc, 2Bottles of wine, Energy Drink & Suya)

+90-5338835145 | +90-5338835331 | +905338776681

Born Folarin Falana on October 27, 1990 in Lagos State, better known by his stage name Falz The Bahd Guy is a Nigerian rapper, actor, and songwriter. He began his career while in secondary school after forming a group called "The School Boys" with his friend before his professional career as a music artiste began in 2009. 
Falz shot into limelight after his song titled "Marry Me" (featuring vocals from Poe and Yemi Alade) won him a nomination in the "Best Collaboration of The Year" category at the 2015 Nigeria Entertainment Awards. He was also nominated in the "Best Rap Act of The Year" and "Best New Act to Watch" categories at the same event. He currently owns an independent record label called Bahd Guys Records.

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1 YEAR LATER - I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable and shocking loss of a close friend to death. He is too young. He loved life. He is the best guy you would want around you. He can lay down his life for you, which he did under some strange circumstances.

EBINABO TARIYEMIENYO MEINDINYO inside and out, was a wonderful friend to me, supporting me for over 2 years with his gentle and caring nature. One of his beliefs in life was the importance of being authentic, original and carefree with people, saying what needs to be said because it’s good for the relationship and for the soul.

Also, I always admired how Ebi never judged or forced his opinions on anyone, but offered valuable and truthful advice that I will surely miss. He was loving and real. He was a wonderful and generous friend to all his friends.

Ebi’s life was taken away from us too soon and it is hard to understand why tragic things like this happen to such good people. However, this is a question without an answer and we should not dwell on the loss of our dear friend, son and brother. Today let’s celebrate his life and remember all of the remarkable things Ebi accomplished and how wonderful his life was.

Ebi was incredibly responsible, intelligent and caring. I knew that I could trust him with anything and I respected him more than words can say. I wonder what you were thinking as your life ended. Did you wonder if your life mattered? did you wonder if people would remember you? Oh God, this is so sad.

It is incredibly sad that Ebi’s life ended so soon and I cannot put into words how much I will miss him. Ebi was a positive person and would not want us to be sad today. If he were here he would tell us to cheer up, smile and remember all of the great memories we all shared. Even though Ebi may be gone, his memory will live on in all of us forever.

COMRADE EBINABO TARIYEMIENYO MEINDINYO, I appreciate your friendship and will never forget you.

Your brother and friend,
K.D - Nigeria

This is  Sponsored Post.
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RealTalk Undressed - Episode 14 - COMPLIMENTS, CRITICISM & SELF-CONFIDENCE...

RealTalk Undressed is a responsive, contemporary student-styled and oriented talk show program that focuses on contemporary issues in a modern world. This is new. This is different. This is fun. This is educative. Everyone is a participant.

Our Street Interview segment gets down to the common man and woman on the street to get their perspectives on related issues.

Click to watch video EPISODE 14 | PART 1 'below:



PS: If you wish to be featured as a guest on the next episode of #realtalkundressed, kindly send us an email: scantygela@gmail.com
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Have a Beautiful Christmas Day and a Fruitful New Year 2017: Be Happy!

FROM THE CREW OF SCANTY GELA BLOG: Wishing you and family and loved ones all the jingly, jolly joys of Christmas.

You are special, you are unique; may your Christmas be also as special and unique as you are! Merry Christmas to you and yours. Your smile is contagious, pass it on to everyone around. Make everyone happy all along! Merry Christmas.

May God bless you with all the happiness and success you deserve!

Merry Christmas.

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RESEARCH: Religious People much Happier than others, New study proves!

A strong correlation exists between religiosity and personal happiness, according to a new study by the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture.

The study found that people who attend religious services on a weekly basis are nearly twice as likely to describe themselves as “very happy” (45%) than people who never attend (28%). Conversely, those who never worship are twice as likely to say they are “very unhappy” (4%) as those who attend services weekly (2%).

Building on prior research, this broad survey of American adults comprised a representative sample of 15,738 Americans between the ages of 18 and 60.

The study indicated that not only religious service attendance, but self-reported “religiosity” and religious “affiliation” are also linked with happiness levels. Yet of the three indicators, service attendance has the highest correlation to increased happiness. The study showed that higher levels of church attendance “predict higher life satisfaction,” even after accounting for how important religious faith is in people’s lives.

The correlation between religiosity and happiness is clear, but explanations of the connection and possible causal relationship are less clear. One theory suggests that the social support that religious communities can provide may be a key factor contributing to increased happiness, since “religious Americans are more apt to be involved in their communities.” Yet even here, the study found “that those who attend religious services often are happier than their peers with similar levels of involvement in the community.”

These statistics tying happiness to religiosity have held true over time. A similar survey conducted ten years ago generated similar results, leading to the same conclusions. When the General Social Survey asked a sample of Americans in 2004, “Would you say that you are very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?” religious people were more than twice as likely as the non-religious to say they were “very happy” (43%-21%). The secular people, or those who never attend worship services, were overwhelmingly more likely to say they were not too happy (21%-8%).

One could almost predict that many of those celebrating Christmas will be merry, those observing Hanukkah will be happy, but those only recognizing the “holidays” will have a little less cause for rejoicing.
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Poetry Is An Intimate And Powerful Way To Express Myself - Theresa Lola [VIDEO]

I met Theresa Lola when she performed at the African Literary Evening. She got a standing ovation for her poem ‘Bring Back Our Girls’. She has a mesmerizing power, and you will agree with me that she is incredibly talented. She spoke to Tundun Adeyemo from www.blackandoutspoken.com over the weekend.
Why poetry? How did you get into poetry?

I developed an interest in writing while in primary school after entering a story writing competition set up by the school. In my teenage years, as I began experiencing more things in life, I began to focus on poetry as I felt it was a more intimate and powerful way to express myself.

What is the most that has generated most acclaim for you?

The ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ poem has so far generated for me the most acclaim. It’s a poem written for the girls kidnapped by Boko Haram in April 2014. Apart from me, there are a lot of people doing all they can to keep the ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ campaign alive so people really connected with the emotions in the poem when they heard it.

Who is your favourite poet?

I have a few who I admire for different reasons. Three of my favourites are Warsan Shire, Aja Monet and Zora Howard. 

What books are you reading now?

"Imagine This" by Sade Adeniran, "Americanah" by Chimamanda Adichie,  " She Sweats" by Aja Monet

Are there enough female African poets or spoken word artistes?
A lot of poets are ‘underground’ writers and sometimes unless involved in the stage or other forms of promotion it is hard to tell just how many female African poets there are in the UK. There could be more; however, the few that are in the UK are doing great things with their work and are setting a path and standard for those coming into the spoken word scene. 

Who is the most famous artiste you have worked with?
As of now, most of my collaborations have been with either filmmakers or producers. I frequently work a music producer from London known as ‘Kente Kwame’ who has produced music for the likes of Fifi Rong, Elijah Benoit and The Wordstress. In the future, I would love to collaborate with other poets.

Where are you going with your poetry? Is this what you wanted to be when you were younger?
I  have always wanted to be a writer. I would love to release  a book and someday and hopefully perform full time.  Being successful in the world of both spoken word, and written poetry is also my main dream. 

What inspires you?
Everything my eyes have seen or my ears have heard, or my hands have touched. Past experiences, along with my childhood and my perspective on life are huge inspirations. My poems are also a reflection of social and political issues in the world today. The desire to be an added voice to these issues inspires me to write about them

Tell us something about you that you haven't told anybody before ?
Hmm hahaha, I once took karate classes when I was 12, but after noticing the tall people in the karate class and seeing my own small skinny body, I decided to quit.

Are you looking forward to Christmas?
I am very excited.  Christmas, it’s such a joyful time of the year. It’s a family tradition every year for us  to come together as a family to play games, cook, open presents and just have fun. 

Is there a link between poetry and fashion? I see you like fashion as well.
I love fashion; both are ways in which I express myself. Finding my own style and finding my own voice in poetry as I got out of my shy shell were similar journeys growing up. Both have blossomed at the same time which is why there are interchangeable tools for me. Fashion is just as powerful, a symbol of an expression. A colour can tell you different emotions based on how a person is wearing it, the same way two poets can write about the same thing, but from different angles.

Any message for those who want to be like you?
Write as much as you can to get your mind into the habit of opening up. Be persistent, network and prioritize. 

Everybody has enjoyed the poem about the Chibok girls you wrote why did you write it? 
I was first approached by the media platform called ‘Word On The Curb’ to write about a current issue. Upon finding out the youngest girl kidnapped was about 9, I felt an even stronger urge to write a poem ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ on the Chibok Girls. I felt different emotions, sadness, anger and remorse not just for the girls but for their families.

You are working on your book, when should we expect that?
The book should be released before summer of 2015. It’s something I want to take my time with and give it my all.

Where can we find out more about you?
My Twitter handle is @theresa_lola.  I have a poetry and fashion blog which is creativeshot.tumblr.com 

Thank you so much.

Originally published on www.blackandoutspoken.com
Tundun from Sahara Reporters contributed.
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Emma Watson: Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot achieve [VIDEO]

British actress Emma Watson made an impassioned plea to women around the world: "Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or cannot achieve.

"Just don't allow it. It's wrong. It's so wrong. Be what you want to be -- and prove them wrong."

The emotional Harry Potter star took to the stage at Facebook's headquarters in London on Sunday, March 8, to talk about gender equality as part of International Women's Day celebrations.

Of the dozens gathered at the event, the majority were bespectacled young men -- not so unlike Harry Potter himself.

Describing the "surreal" moment she gave a speech at U.N. headquarters, later watched by 17 million, Watson said: "Gender equality historically has been a woman's movement.

"And how it's affecting men hasn't been addressed," she told moderator Greg James.

During the hour-long conversation, Watson gave the audience a rare glimpse into her private life -- and the difference between chivalry and sexism.

"I love having the door opened for me, isn't that just polite?" she said. "But I think the key is, would you then mind me opening the door for you?"

"Chivalry should be consensual."

And it's not just women affected by gender inequality -- men suffer too, she added.

"I get disturbed by this idea that men can't cry," she continued.

"They can't express themselves and I think that's the saddest thing in the world. Being able to express yourself is what makes you human -- it's not what makes you a girl."

When internet trolls threatened to release naked photos of the actress, following her UN speech, she said it only made her more determined in her campaign.

"If they were trying to put me off -- they did the opposite," she added.

Almost 230,000 men and boys across the world have since joined the HeForShe campaign, including U.S. President Barack Obama, and actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Matt Damon.

"I read a letter of support from a 13-year-old boy that was equally as passionate as a CEO," said Watson, adding that she often read their stories before going to bed at night.

"I asked my younger sister: 'What would be the one thing you'd want from boys in your life?' She said: 'I just want them to play with us.' And I think that really translates at every level. We just want to be included."

Watson also talked about the inspiring influence of her mother, Jacqueline, who was a "single working mother and type one diabetic."

"She wanted me to be my own person and said a bit of rebellion was good," said Watson, adding: "She was actually thrilled when I got my first detention... I think I failed a Latin exam."

Answering questions submitted via Facebook, Watson said the recent lack of female representation at the Academy Awards showed that the fight for gender equality was far from over.

"Why are women not directing their own stories?" she said.

"The human race is a bird -- and it needs both its wings to fly. And at the moment one of its wings is clipped," said Watson, paraphrasing famous American feminist, Gloria Steinem.

When asked what things we can all do to affect change, the actress said it wasn't necessarily about grand actions -- but small ones.

"It's everyday, it's individual, it's on a case by case basis," she said.

"Whether it's speaking up or trying to change the way someone else thinks about an issue."

In the audience, a man wearing a Hogwarts jumper asked Watson whether women should be paid the same as men, when they are more likely to take maternity leave.

She answered: "I don't think in the grand scheme of things [maternity leave] is going to hinder a woman being incredibly effective in her field.

"I think men should be equal partners in raising children."

You can watch the full video of the conversations on Watson's Facebook page.

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RealTalk Undressed