Gabriela Barkho: Nobody Has Real Friends Anymore [OPINION]

Ok you have friends, we get it. But, wait: You can’t quite remember where they’re living these days, or what they do in their leisure times. Did you miss their birthday? Chances are, you pop over to Facebook and check, reassure yourself that you’re caught up on their milestones, then go about your day. Are you still friends, even though you haven’t seen each other in years, or spoken in a non-digital medium?

Human interaction online tends to reflect real-life, centuries-old customs, according to Karen North, professor of digital social media and director of the Annenberg Program on Online Communities at USC Annenberg School.

“Humans, by nature, have always been social animals,” North explained. “The only difference is that these days, the socializing is being done more online than face to face.”

“The problem is that people will ‘reach out’ by clicking on a friend’s page and reading through their posts, and that way they feel engaged even though the engagement was one-sided,” North noted. “So the relationship doesn’t actually get furthered, it’s just peering into each other’s lives.”

And then there’s the question: Is being a supportive online friend even enough?

“Even when they see something good happening to someone and you ‘RT’ or ‘Like’ something, it’s not always seen as enough,” North explained.

So, for things like birthdays, people write “Happy birthday” on Facebook, but don’t necessarily get a lot of credit for jumping on the bandwagon.

In other words, human nature indicates that calling a friend to congratulate them on the baby news will always gain you more points than just double-tapping their pregnancy reveal on Instagram.

“Humans are known to keep tabs on friends and family’s interactions,” North explained. “And so, when you put in the bare minimal effort, it really does show.” So perhaps you’re not necessarily labeled a “bad friend” for opting for a quick social media thumbs up to a friend’s life event, but in the long run, the friendship tends to be affected by your lack of “real” effort.

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