Life is stressful most of the time, the world is flawed and people are 2 faced; to make a bad situation worse; we live in a country where nothing works right and we often struggle to balance the urge to do so much or to just give up altogether. Most of us work hard in our individual lives, at the end of a hard day; we have no fuel to drive home, we pay ridiculous taxi fares, stay in traffic for over 2 hours only to get home to a house with no electricity. We read everyday of terrorism, thieving politicians, devalued currency, cheating yoruba men(aka demons) and other life threatening things we accept as the order of the day.

Really, i believe being Nigerian prepares you for hard times and teaches you coping mechanisms for hard times and i admire the strength and zeal of all hardworking Nigerians.

Despite all the above, Nigeria is an interesting place to live in, it certainly contributes to character development. Below are a few things i have learnt from being Nigerian

To be stronger – Only the strong will survive and thrive in this economy. I’ve learnt the need to be stronger and to always be one step ahead, I’m tough because in a society that doesn’t recognize women as equals, i have to work extra hard to prove myself.

To be hopeful – We are the most hopeful citizens; we cling to the hope and belief that things must surely get better one day. This can’t possibly be our eternal reality; so we hope and hope. I’ve learnt to be extremely hopeful for the possibility of a much better day.

To persevere – We keep struggling believing that any day could be the day we get that lucky break that will elevate us and change our current circumstance. So we persevere through all trials. I’ve learnt that no does not really mean no and that there is no situation that one can not handle with the right tactics or amount so i persevere through any and every situation.

High tolerance level – There’s so much negative things that we’ve gotten used to as a way of life (poor infrastructure, corrupt leaders, cheating husbands, high unemployment rate, Boko haram, underage brides, rape culture, ebola, gender inequality) just to mention a few. I have definitely attained a high tolerant level to situations.

To be more spiritual – In Nigeria, the answer to all questions and the solution to every dilemma is God. You get used to phrases like ‘it is well’, ‘God is in control’, ‘God will do it for you’, ‘God’s time is the best’. Religion is something Nigerians NEED to cling to; the desperate hope that if they live right then a higher power will reward them. I’m a Christian and i have to say that being a Nigerian living in Nigeria has taught me to be more spiritual.

To be competitive – I grew up around a LOT of comparison, to siblings, cousins, neighbors, classmates and so on. If you’re Nigerian you have heard ‘the person that came first does she have two heads?’. Being Nigerian has taught me to be very competitive in all situations.

The list is truly endless but i have learnt so much from being Nigerian and i believe that the traits i have picked up can allow me to live and thrive anywhere in the world. Everyone knows that Nigerians are EVERYWHERE. Even in the most unlikely places like Alaska, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Cyprus, Syria, Iraq, etc.

Really, i believe being Nigerian prepares you for hard times and teaches you coping mechanisms for hard times and i admire the strength and zeal of all hardworking Nigerians.

What has being Nigerian taught you? I would love to hear it all.

Proudly Nigerian.

Love x Light

N.
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Inspiration comes at night time to me

When all is quiet and I can hear myself
Grateful for times like tonight
It is at moments like these that I indulge in self reflection
Life and its endless possibilities

My fears and cowardice
Things I will never be bold enough to say
I play some music and close my eyes
Get lost in the beats and the voice straining to sing what it feels

Maybe that is an easy way to get your words across
I like to think I am an old soul
Always have been lost in the tiny details of life
A weathered soul

The song on the radio struck a chord
It is in this moment that I think of you
How much you mean and the things you make me feel
In our ordinary moments, not the best or worst

Just those everyday ones
My soul feels young
Tonight, I feel every strain in the voice on the radio
“No wonder I keep you close,

Keep me young and call my bluffs,
When you go, I’ll know I’m old”
So like the song coming out of my headphones
If I never let you go, will you keep me young?

Love x Light,

N.

****

Originally published by Nwando  Learn more »

I began to actively practice gratitude after a few things happened in my life and i struggled to see the good in life; i realized at the time that there were also reasons in my life to be grateful but i was always stuck on the pain and the things that weren’t going right. A failed dream, another failed relationship, a broken heart, loss of a very loved one, loss of vision and the list goes on and on; i’ve been through all the above and at those times of suffer i found myself dwelling on only the pain but never the things in my life that were actually not so bad.

I find that habits are like roads – the more you travel them, the easier they are to follow; i made the decision to form the habit of gratitude and never self pity. It is so easy to look to the bad things that happened to us, the life we hope for, the dreams we aim to achieve, the love we hope to receive, the money we hope to make etc. that we often forget to stop and take stock of the things that we currently have that we don’t even ask for; the reasons we smile, the people that make us laugh, the opportunities that just fell on our lap, the little random things that happen daily that we don’t even take as anything.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the hope to remind myself of all the many things i have going on for me,  i’ve come up with a list of 100 things i’m grateful for

The good health i always experience!!
Family that understands and accepts my excesses
Dreams that allow me to envision a better life
Friends that push me
Strangers that inspire me
Colors that add beauty
Flowers
Social media that exposes me to the world at large
My good looks and body (if i do say so myself lol)
Fast wifi
Crispy Friend Chicken
Coldstone Ice cream in a waffle cone
A roof over my head
Uber
Love in all its forms
Great movies that move me
Great books that transport me to a different place and time
Music
Clean drinking water
Daily bread
Hot water to bath
Coffee at all hours
My puppy called California
Sunshine and Rain
Healthy family members
My niece and nephew
Art
The ability to write
The ability to learn from situations and move on
Humor (Yes i’m actually really funny)
The ability to wave my hands and dance like i just don’t care
The ability to not obsessively dwell over situations i can’t control
The ability to master ‘The Serenity Prayer’
Yoga
Spinning
Fashion
The chance to make money from my passions
The fresh start i’m given every single day
Resolutions that allow me to start over again anytime i feel like i need it
Appliances that make my life easier – washing machine, rice cooker, deep fryer
Friends i can call at 2am to cry to
The people that have never given up on me (e.g. Sandy aka Hot Sexy Mama)
The people in my life that don’t judge me
The people in my life that know all parts of me and love me any way
Anyone that has ever fought for me
The people that taught me what does not kill me will make me stronger
The opportunity to travel and experience other culture
The ability to love truly and selflessly
The ability to still love despite being hurt
The ability to shape my future
The universe
November
Snapchat filters that make me glow!
The color Black
Wedges
Strangers that smile at me when we walk past each other
People that compliment me and make me feel good about myself
The people who pray for me even when i don’t know
God’s love even when i don’t deserve it
The experiences i’m yet to have
The cool people i’m yet to meet
The great love of my life i’m yet to meet (that will stay through it all)
My Education
My past experiences
All the pain i’ve been through that has made me who i am
Hot bread
The calming of the beach
The doors that closed on opportunity i thought i needed but i really didn’t
Strangers i’ve had amazing connection with
My blind faith
Hearing good news
Giving good news to others
Being the reason others laugh/smile
The ability to give when i can
Serendipity (No; not the movie *side eye*)
Game of thrones
The breath in my lungs
My large heart
The word impossible for allowing us to fight to achieve what is deemed unachievable
The me from yesterday that i get to compete with today
The future me that i’m yet to know
The ability to change my life with one opportunity or decision
The ability to laugh even when i feel like crying
Sweet white wine with sweet people
Champagne
The continued process of self discovery
The good examples that show me what to emulate
The bad examples that show me what paths to avoid
Conversations with my mum on days that i feel low
Golf with my mum
Seeing babies bursting out in laughter
Self acceptance
The ability to be my true self regardless of whatever situation i’m in
My future kids
Technology that allows me to connect with my loved ones
Somi that looks out for me from the other side
Random text messages that remind me that i’m special
People that have faith in who i have the potential to be
The stars and the moon on a breezy night
The ability to be grateful regardless of what life throws my way


Off the bare top of my head; these are 100 things that i’m grateful for.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”  ― Epicurus

Gratitude is one of the most important aspects of life, if you look hard enough, there’s always something to be grateful for. I challenge you to write down at least 50 things you are grateful for. It’s refreshing to dig in and acknowledge things that make our lives easier. Better still, get a gratitude journal and write one thing/person/experience you were grateful for at the end of the day; that’s 365 things a year and even more if you’re up to the challenge.

What are you grateful for today? 

Love x Light

N.

***Ms Nwando is a Guest Blogger, Follow her blog posts here Learn more »

For the vast majority of my life, i have believed that i could achieve everything i wanted out of life. Where people saw impossibilities; i saw a silver lining. One of the things i admire the most about myself is my self-confidence. I’m really confident in all areas of my life – I have sometimes been told that my confidence blinds me to certain things but alas… that’s a story for another day.

Confidence – A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities

“With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – Dalai Lama

I think it is very important for everyone to be able to have confidence in self. What you think of yourself is far more important than what anyone could ever possibly think of you. How you see/portray yourself is often how other other people will regard you.

What are the things that make me confident about self and life?

I’m honestly doing my best; i’m a believer in building the life i believe i deserve and i almost always do everything i possibly can to achieve my dreams; i’m confident amongst people of all works of life and different levels of success because in my own journey; i’m doing my best; i appreciate my effort and i honestly don’t need to seek validation from others to know i’m doing alright.

My personal style is very minimal; I’m not the most done up girl in the room ( I hate make up and fancy clothes). I’ll always choose comfortable over fashionable and that’s OK! I have accepted this about myself and i OWN it. I don’t try to change who i am to make people around me comfortable; instead i surround myself with people that accept me as i am.

I never compare myself to others. I understand that life happens and people’s experiences are different. There’s absolutely no point in jealousy or comparison between self and others. I admire some people and i look up to a few people for inspiration but never with spite, jealousy or bitter comparison. You can’t find confidence in self if you prefer someone else to yourself.

I trust in my growth. I’m in a better place mentally than i was a few weeks ago,  a few months ago, a few years ago. This tells me that i’ll be in an even better place in few weeks, few months, few years. I’m growing and it’s admirable to be and this makes me confident about life in general (even when anxiety about the future creeps in).

I take care of myself. It’s not enough to wish for a certain body type; i work very hard at my physical appearance. I work out, i drink a lot of water and i eat very well. I take care of my skin, body, soul, heart and mind. I feed my self with the things that make me flourish physically, spiritually and mentally. You can’t find confidence if you are not proud of the way you look.
.
These are a few ways i’ve found confidence and apply it to my everyday living. How do find confidence? Please share with me as i would love to know!

Love x Light,

N.

***Ms Nwando is a Guest Blogger, Follow her blog posts here Learn more »

TheNwando - "How i found peace by letting go of the past and the future" [OPINION] “I used to be afraid of the pain letting go of the past would cause, until I realized how much pain holding on has caused.” ~Steve Maraboli...READ  MORE Learn more »

Hi my name is Nwando and i’m a dreamer. I find that some events in my life are one big de ja vu. The last night in a familiar city before one relocates brings about mixed emotions that can never quite be explained in words. I’ve fortunately or unfortunately been in this situation more times than i would like to count. Sometimes i feel like there’s a constant battle between wanting to live to the fullest while taking advantage of every opportunity and just being home, being protected and taken care of. Some days i want to be a superhero and other days i want to be a baby. Having said that; i also feel like i always want more; i make these big decisions and i move cross country or cross states to be a step closer to the life i believe i want; only to arrive at that step and find that life has moved a couple steps further. Do we ever really get to the places we want to arrive at where we believe total satisfaction and content exists?

After all said and done; i’m excited. New beginnings excite me, life journeys thrill me and the possibility that i could be closer to the person i’m working towards becoming is consolation enough. I turn on any news station or social media and all i see is how living in Lagos is hard, things don’t work, people are always stressed and i think i must on some low-key be slightly cray cray to now decide to explore opportunities there at this very moment. But what’s life if we don’t have scary life decision making moments such as this one?

I feel the same way i always feel when i find myself in these situations. Hopeful, confused, happy, uncomfortable, doubtful, certain etc. etc. I feel everything. I’m eager to embrace change, explore new exciting opportunities, forge new healthy connections and just work towards being a better version of myself. I’m a dream chaser and i’m proud of that; i wouldn’t want it any other way.

As always; i encourage you all to do those things your heart secretly desires; make that move, make that phone call, chase that passion, embrace that person, live your life the way it works best for you; let go of the past, believe in yourself more, let go of the hurt, understand that you have the power to change your story and just live.

Love x Light,
N.

Credit: TheNwando Learn more »