Dr. Gail Saltz on Why Chasing Fame Can Bring Misery! [INTERVIEW]

Let’s get right to it with Gail Saltz, M.D. She’s a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, columnist, bestselling author and television commentator, and a regular health, sex, and relationship contributor for international media.

The author of five books, including Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back. Dr. Saltz is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital/ Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and a psychoanalyst with New York Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. She maintains a private practice on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and she and her husband and three daughters live in Manhattan.

Dr. Saltz—Gail—so glad to have you here on Mind Your Body. You’re so used to counseling others, asking them questions to help you get to know them better. I’d like to turn the tables now as we find out how you stay healthy. First, tell us about your diet. What do you eat to stay healthy?

As with most things psychological, I am all about moderation in eating. So I try to not go overboard with things less healthy like sugar and high fat. But I also don’t completely deny myself either, so for treats I will sometimes have dessert, cheese, red meat, etc. I am a food person, as in I love great food, I love to cook great food and as a family, food is a vehicle for fun and bonding. So with all that I stay conscious about being a model of a healthy eater for my daughters and because I do believe that eating in a healthy way helps your mood and stress level to stay in check.

And how does what we eat affect how we think and feel? That’s a real mind-body connection question…

Overdoing sugar can cause plummets afterwards in blood sugar which can make you irritable or anxious. Junk food is designed to make you crave more while never feeling satiated. Being overly restrictive or overly indulgent can be signs of an eating disorder. Part of the mind-body connection is also liking your body and feeling good about yourself. Healthy eating and exercise help a lot with that. I don’t LOVE exercising but I do think it’s essential to well-being, so I try to exercise four to five times per week. Exercise is as effective as an antidepressant for mild to moderate depression. It boosts mood and decreases anxiety and stress.

How do you advise clients to develop an overall “healthy” state of mind and emotional well-being?

What each patient needs is often different depending on their individual problems. But overall, knowing your own mind well, understanding what makes YOU tick is a key factor in maintaining a healthy state of mind. There is a power in that knowledge to behave in ways that enhance your life, and to avoid being self-destructive.

These are stressful times: the economy, ISIS, Ebola, to name a few. What are your tips for not letting all of this “get to you”—or better yet—get to us?

It does seem like the worst of times…but actually it’s that the stresses keep changing and the newness of each one makes it feel like these times are worse than any other. If you look back over history, each time felt like the worst of times to that group. However, one thing is different. We are such a globally-connected world now that every disaster everywhere has grown to seem like it’s in our own backyard. The 24/7 nature of media and our watching of it also makes it feel like a constantly-occurring train wreck as does our losing faith in authority figures to be able to protect us. Reducing the stress reaction to it all has to do with keeping this perspective.  You cannot control everything in life, you can appreciate what you do have in your own life, so stop partaking of the compulsion to seek out and watch disasters. Instead do what you can to problem-solve in your own life and have gratitude for the things you do have.

Some people are afraid of medications—after all, the side effects can be brutal, and sometimes it’s necessary to try several, or many. Why is it important to find the right med and stick with it?

It is true that for depression and anxiety that requires meds, which may not be the case if not severe, it may take two to four trials of medications to find the one that works for you. For severe and debilitating depression and anxiety it can make the difference between functioning and not, recovery and not, suicide and not, and also relapse and not. Going back off the med too soon may result in a relapse and one that is harder to treat.

And about therapy: What would you say are the real benefits to be gained, and how long does it “take” clients to effect change, in your experience?

The right type of therapy for the particular problem, by a well-trained and qualified therapist, is hugely important! Studies show that therapy plus medication is more effective than either alone for many problems. But therapy alone works well for many mild or moderate mental health issues and it also is preventive of reoccurrence because it teaches coping skills that are protective. The length of time truly depends on the symptom, the cause, the particular individual and the type of therapy. Short-term treatments can be eight to 10 sessions, long-term can be years.

How do you manage stress? And how can we manage stress in general?

Everyone has stress; even good things in life are stressful. It’s ok to have some stress. The problem is with chronic high levels of stress, because that affects your mental and physical health. Regular aerobic exercise is helpful in diminishing stress’s effect. Methods of relaxing like muscle relaxation, breathing, social support, talking to friends and partners, getting adequate sleep, distracting and absorbing outlets like reading, music, movies, and playing all help. What is not helpful is stressing about how much stress you are having.

We hear a lot about “balance.” Sounds good, but how can we achieve it? You, for example, do several things really well, but for some people, keeping too many juggling balls in the air doesn’t really work. Advice?

You can’t really “have it all,” meaning you do have to make some choices based on which things are your priorities. Deciding on your priorities and giving up some in favor of others is part of balance. Your priorities may change over time so keep reassessing. Choosing to pursue what you feel most passionately about makes doing those things both pleasurable and easier, leaving room for more. Picking a partner that supports you doing what you care deeply about also makes a huge difference!

So, this is a weekly celebrity-focused column. Readers can’t get enough of celebrities, but may compare themselves to them. What’s the danger in that? How do we take a dose of celeb and let it just be that?

Celebrities are human beings that have become famous for some reason, but that reason often has nothing to do with their expertise in the area of relationships, healthy living, parenting, medicine, mental health, etc. Yet, many people let their interest and admiration for the celebrity color everything they see that person say and do as though they were indeed expert in all those things and should be emulated. You might want to follow them for acting advice or fashion advice or whatever their particular skill is, but they shouldn’t be your role model for everything else. Also, fame is not a key to happiness…relationships are. Chasing fame, by being so besotted with celebrity, is most likely to create a lot of misery for you.

Follow her at @DrGailSaltz.

The interviewer, Stephanie Stephens, M.A., is a spokesperson and host for the active, mature female demographic—midlife and boomer. She writes, produces, and hosts her multimedia channel, Mind Your Body TV, featuring timely health and lifestyle blogs, podcasts, and videos—also seen on YouTube and syndicated by AOL/On

Credit: Interview by STEPHANIE STEPHENS of Community Table