Being in a Relationship in Cyprus is a Full time job; Look before you Leap [OPINION]

Coming to Cyprus to study about 2 years ago was one the most bitter-sweet decisions i have made in life...yet. I would say that naivety and innocence played a huge negative role in my relationship. I felt entitled to everything, even the love and care that was given by my then boyfriend. The thing is to have a really terrific relationship you don’t have to do everything right. Human nature pretty much says that you won’t always get it right. However, you DO have to stay focused on doing whatever it takes, all of the time. Do what your conscience tells you is right. I have a few guidance below.

Shower each other with Love. If that sounds like a full-time job… it is!

While I realize that this is an awesome “take responsibility for your relationship” assignment, if you really love each other this mission is possible and you must both do the work that is required – together! Your mission… if you choose to accept it, will cause your relationship to sparkle like the bling of a 20 carat diamond. Routine does not belong in a healthy relationship. It’s up to both of you to weave a little “magic” into your relationship. Adding more intimacy, love, understanding and compassion in any relationship is always welcome.

Romance is part of the “magic” and it’s about making your partner feel special. You can do that only by paying close attention to the relationship. In the beginning romance was in the air, however, as a relationship matures, you have to go out of your way to make sure that the romance you remember continues.

“Call on me when ever you need me … and I will be there in a hurry.”

Romance is a very small part of what makes a long-term relationship successful, it’s getting the other 98 percent right that makes a couple have longevity. Part of getting it right takes moments of reflection, self-control, compromise, and forgiveness.

It IS possible. How? You have to decide. Decide what? Decide to have a state of the art relationship – one you can have bragging rights about – and in order to do that you must consistently be doing more things right than wrong.

You are in a relationship. So, relate! Relating between partners means communicating.

Communicate openly and honestly to establish a common ground and to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan.

You cannot expect your partner to agree with you on every issue, however once you reach an agreement keep your word.

“Keep your promises and tell the truth. If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies. Say what you mean and mean what you say.” ~ Concerned friend

When was the last time you did something to make your partner smile? Having fun together is the best aphrodisiac. It improves and strengthens your bond. Write up a list of what makes you feel loved and special and exchange it with your partner.

Relationships are always complicated and they should be ever evolving. Disagreements are bound to occur. Your job is to never let things get out of hand. Don’t allow fear to keep you from talking things over as calmly as possible and agree or learn to compromise on a solution to the problem, then kiss, make-up and continue moving forward. The challenge is to learn new skills that make communication safe and effective for both of you.

The single greatest thing you can do to increase the value of your relationship is to start being grateful for what you have right now. Next, be sure to allow your partner to experience the gratefulness you have for them and the relationship.

Commitment means to have consideration for your partner in all matters.

Consider how any action you might take affects your partner and the relationship. You must consider the impact of your choices and treat your relationship and your partner with kindness, fairness, respect, and loads of Love.

Finally, never offer solutions to your partner when they are really looking for someone to just be a committed listener. (This one is for the guys!). When conversing with your partner, learn to not only listen, but listen actively.

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SHANTELLE writes:

Any successful relationship takes and deserves work. The tricky part is determining the difference between working towards building a strong solid relationship and running into endless issues where everything is a struggle. In my experience, I was doing the latter. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to spend quality time with you, call you regularly or to perform any other basic duties in a relationship. Especially if they’ve been dating you for years and claim to be serious about you. It just doesn’t make logical sense.

The fact that many people feel like you shouldn’t have to work on a relationship bothers me. To me, it seems like people want instant gratification and expect to have the perfect relationship with the perfect being which just isn’t reality. Nothing in this world comes easy and while chemistry, compatibility, stability, honesty and love are key components of a good relationship, they are nothing without commitment.

So while one shouldn’t be a fool and stay with someone who runs them through obstacle courses, a bit of good honest work towards something great never hurt anyone. Especially if you’re in it together.


**Written by ANONYMOUS